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Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in
sissyneecole's LiveJournal:
| Wednesday, July 20th, 2005 | | 3:48 pm |
I can't handle it! I can't handle being here anymore! I hold my Grandma above everyone, but I can't take seeing her the way she is. She is slowly going and there is nothing I can do about it!!! She sleeps all the time, and I'm scared that I'll go in to see her and she will be gone, left in her sleep. Her memory is fading, she doesn't eat barely anything. I wanna be one place right now, but I can't. Thats a whole other problem that I can't get out of my FUCKING head!!! I can't watch her slowly go. It's to hard. I think of only one person that I want comfort from, but like I can't. asking the questions in my head, I fear would only cause more shit. I don't need anything to change between us now and I'm not gonna push, but I have questions, shit thats not my FUCKING business!!! Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! I can't lose her. Not now!!! I want her to be here for my wedding, my children, but she won't and I know it, but I can hope. I need my comfort person. LOL I need to get over my stupidness. But I can't. I losing my hero, and I fear she's not the only one. Current Mood:  scaredCurrent Music: TV | | Tuesday, July 19th, 2005 | | 9:39 pm |
Bahama Trip So Mike and I left for Ft. Lauderdale around 7 Thursday night. After a few pit stops we arrived at our hotel around midnight. We check in and headed to sleep before we had to be up at 4:45 to head to the Port. Well Mike didn't sleep at all and I was in a 1/2 sleep state the whole time because he was laughing at the tv all night. Once we got through customs and all that fun we boarded the boat at about 6 am Friday morning. We ate the breakfast they provided and then chilled and watch the sun rise, ordered some drinks and just relaxed. We wondered around the boat and order another drink, which put me in a drunken state. Bahama Mama's are good, but to much does a Sarah bad. LOL Mike had a bit of his left, but when he went to the bathroom, I finished off. LOL I remember things just not clearly. I recall asking Mike a question and talking to myself, but it's all a haze. We got to Grand Bahama, Freeport around 2 and headed to our hotel. 2 seconds after falling into the bed, there was a knock on the door. An islander was outside and he looked at me and said "Where's ur bf?" I said, "Sleeping" and he responded with, "I have a dubee and I wanted to know if he wanted some." I was like, um no, we are tired bye, and shut the door. OMG Anyway, after a nap Mike and my hungover self went out to eat at a local Market place called Port Lucaya. We ate at an Irish Pub, lol. Saturday, we hit the up stairs resturant around and then the beach. We went to another market place called International Bazaar and shopped a bit and ate lunch at a place called "Cafe Micheal's." Around 7pm we went to a place called R&D Plaza and saw "Charley and the Chocolate Factory." Sunday we wanted to go diving with sharks, but due to the hurricane's they have been scared away and they weren't offering that package. BITCHES!! Anyway, instead we went back to Port Lucaya for lunch, walked around, walked back to the beach for pictures and visited International Bazaar again for more shopping. After that we headed back to the hotel to swim and order pizza for dinner. Monday we got up at 9 to check out and wait to be picked up for horseback riding. That was the high light of the trip. When they dropped us back off at the hotel we ate lunch at the up stairs resturant again and then waited for our ride back to Port. We were tired and had to drive back to Tampa, so I got a cabin on the boat and we slept from 3:30-6, got up at dinner and then went back to sleep from 6:30-10. The boat left port at 4 instead of 3, but we returned to Florida at 10 instead of 11:30 like they said we would. After getting our bags and returning to my car at the hotel we hit the road at about 11-11:30. We got back to Mike's at 3 and passed out. Well, I passed out around 5/6 and I'm sure Mike did around the same time. I got up at about 11ish and headed for home at 2:30. Now I'm at my Grandma's watching her. It was a WONDERFUL trip!! I'm glad we went together and I'm glad I won the trip to begin with. Yey!!! Current Mood:  chipperCurrent Music: TV | | Tuesday, July 12th, 2005 | | 7:16 pm |
Hee Hee Current Mood: calmCurrent Music: TV | | Monday, July 4th, 2005 | | 6:03 pm |
Another Holiday with the Family After getting home from Mikki and Jessica's, which I had the time of my life at, I went to sleep at about 2 and woke up again at 3. Once I went back to sleep I got up at 10, well I was forced to get up, and cleaned the kitchen and dusted the living room. Both my brother and sister skipped out to go to work. They were suppose to get up early and clean, but Ben didn't and Amy did a 1/2 ass job in the bathroom. so once again, Sarah got to do all of their shit. Yey. The family has been here since 3 and Grandma, my sister and her bf since 5, but I've been hiding in my room ever since I dried off the last dish. I'm bored crazy and much rather be somewhere else. SOS~ Save Our Sarah. Current Mood:  boredCurrent Music: TV | | Thursday, June 30th, 2005 | | 11:33 pm |
Double Blarg
So today was a blah day. Work has been a pain in my ass lately because there is so much shit stirring up between my supervisor and the owner of the school. I'm caught in the middle and although I see my supervisor as a close friend, who has helped me with so much lately. I'm not gonna get my ass fired. I lesson to her and let her know I understand her views, but thats about where it ends. On top of that, I have had a head ache every fucking day. I have an eye appointment next Thursday for stronger lenses, because I know thats whats wrong. I am happy though because today I got a brand new car. It's a 2005 Hyundai Tucson. The color is Mesa Red, but I call it burgundy. I was happy I got it,but at the same time I wasn't. All today and for the last few days I've felt so alone. I spend all my free time in my room, alone. My best friend is now miles away, two of my other friends I spend time with are a pair, which causes me to be the 3rd wheel and I'm not gonna even comment on my other friend. I have 2 weeks until the Bahama's and believe me, I can't wait, but the vision I first had for the trip has now changed, but I know I will still have a load of fun. I just don't know why I feel so alone. I feel so stupid all the time. I need a swift kick in the ass. I need to stopped trying to figure out if what I'd being told is true or if I'm just being used. GET OVER IT!!!! See what happens when you have to much time on ur hands. You begin to think. Damn brain. LOL
Current Mood: Alone
Current Music: Tv-Family Guy | | Sunday, June 26th, 2005 | | 11:30 pm |
Sleep, where are you?!?!?!?
Ya it's only 11:30, but my mind turned off for the night around 9, but my body doesn't want to lay still long enough to fall asleep. There's nothing on tv and I'm bored crazy!!! Mom and I looked at cars today. I really like the KIA Sportage. But I'd need a co-signer because my income isn't high enough, but the whole point of a new car is to get it under my name. My grandma co-signed for the car I have now, but she rather it be under mine now. She is driving me crazy with it. After we got home I sat around for a bit and then hopped in our pool. We've had it for about 3 weeks and I just now got in it. After that, I was been ready for bed, but my eyes won't close. Stupid things!!!! Good news......19 days until the Bahama's!!!
Current Mood: awake
Current Music: TV | | Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005 | | 10:03 pm |
Ho Hum Day Today was another boring day at work. When I got off I called my friend Mike (Also called ABC Mike because I know to many Mike's)and I met him at the place he works, which is also where my bro works. (ABC- Atlanta Bread Company) We got free food, cause we're cool like that, LOL (I wish) and then we headed back to my house for about an hour. Then I talked him into playing pool because I've had the need to all day. I have no clue why. In High School I would go out every weekend with my friends Shane, Ralph and Justin. Justin and Shane are brothers. I dated Shane my 9th grade year when he was in 11th. Also my 9th grade year I dated Ralph who was also in 11th. Oddly enough, I dated Ralph 1st, but Shane was my 1st kiss. lol I got around in 9th grade, lol. After Shane, I dated a 12th grader. But back to the point. We all remained friends through the rest of High School. So I've played my far share of pool. I'm ok at it and I love to play. So Mike and I went down to Treasure Island Fun Center and played a few rounds. I managed to win one. Yey!! The night ended with Mike driving me home. Thank God tomorrow is Thursday. Oh and **23** more days till the Bahama's!!!! Yey!! Current Mood: boredCurrent Music: Music via Keyhole | | Sunday, June 19th, 2005 | | 11:03 pm |
Sunday Today was boring. I didn't go to bed last night until 5 and didn't get up till 3 pm. Played on the computer all day and around 7 made dinner for my dad. I'm not looking forward to work tomorrow. I have plans to eat dinner with some friends later Monday night, so I'm looking forward to it. I do feel kinda bad about it, but what can I do. It's to late now. Blarg!! Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: TV | | 4:51 am |
Boredum at Rocky leads to writtng. Blurred Faces: Time flies by so fast that figures in front of me get some what blured. Faces I once knew are strangers to me now. Everything I believed in is caught up in a whirlwind of color. It's as if I am standing outside myself. I'm looking at a blurred face that was once me. A figure that once held my heart, my soul, my knowledge is now empty. I look down at the body of someone I once knew and now question it. At times the blurs clear and for a short time, it allows me to see the faces. Faces of the friends and people I love. Their frowns, their smiles and it makes me wish that time could always remain steady. Always allow me to see their tears and bright happy eyes. But as fast as it comes, it goes. It leaves me again outside myself. Looking down and yarning once again to see the clear images of the ones I love and the chance to be who I was and will be again. SND~~ 6-18-2005 Current Mood: blankCurrent Music: Music | | Saturday, June 18th, 2005 | | 12:54 am |
Ybor
So I won't bore u with all the details, but I wanted to go out to the Castle tonight, and I did, but after a lot of changes in the plans, I ended up going with Jessica and Jason. Jason was mighty fine, but 19 and I don't do younger guys. Blah!!! We also ran into Jessica's ex Mike, who's also nice looking, but again, to young. Well the night was ok other then the fact that Jess and Jason made out all night. Can you say 3rd wheel?!?!?!?! I can!! On top of that, I learned some new information ealier in that day that, despite what my friend thinks, I didn't know.....and now I do. So what did I learn tonight boys and girls????? 1)I am good at being a 3rd Wheel!!! Yey!! And 2)My sex life is no more!!! Yey!! It really sucks to be obsessed with sex and not get any. But then again, I'm not "getting any" by choice, because although I am obsessed with sex, I'm not a whore, so I'm not about to run up and down the streets fucking everyone. One guy was looking at me all night and Jess and Jason kept telling me to go talk to him, but Eh, I didn't want to. I had one thing on my mind and I was depressed 1/2 the night knowing I couldn't have it. Then on the way home I got a lecture from Jason telling me that I'm hot and blah blah blah, basically telling me things others have already said. (Right Jamie?? ;o)~ ) And trust me, everything I'm told makes complete sense, and I'm sure it's true, But, you must learn from YOUR OWN mistakes. And I've learned. The heart is a fragile thing. So when I get my baseball bat, I can shatter it, cause I think life may be easier with out it. My own made up saying...........When life gives you a lemon, get a bat and PLAY BALL!!!
Current Mood: Hurt/Very Horny
Current Music: Silence | | Wednesday, June 15th, 2005 | | 11:59 pm |
Yummy Current Mood: hornyCurrent Music: TV | | Monday, June 13th, 2005 | | 9:50 pm |
Grandma................. I went to over to visit Grandma today after work. She is losing her hair. It's almost gone. She's had cancer for the last 4 years, but over the last 2 her hair has grown back. And although I have seen her bald before, it still really hurts to see her like this. There is a little boy who goes to Radiation at the same place she does, so she has me crocheting a hat for him. It's red, white and blue, for the 4th of July. Back when my Grandma was on cemo (She's on a cancer pill now), I made hats all the time for the other people in cemo. They loved them. I need to start making them again. Right now I'm talking with my friend Mike. He works with my brother, but I've known him for the last ummmmmmmm 2-3 years. My bro got the job with the help of Mike and Lee, who used to work there. There's nothing on tv, but I better get back to crocheting. Current Mood: boredCurrent Music: TV | | 2:25 am |
12 hours ago.................. Hmmmm, 12 hours ago I was ending the show at Rocky. I got home at 3 and fell into bed. I got up at 3 today only to remain in my room for the duration of Sunday. I chated online with a friend or two, watched a bit of the hello vision, but mostly read. Finished that book in two days! I surfaced a few times for a snack or a drink. My Aunt and 3 younger cousins came over to swim in our new pool, but again, I only came out a few times. The midgets did come in my room a few times and dressed up in my hats and other cloths. As I cared the sleeping 6 year old out to the car I told my Aunt that next time I'd whip out the Rocky cloths. Those kids are crazy but cute. I made a call to my supervisor to see how she was, but I used my cell, so I didn't leave my room for that either. LOL. Played Janet for the second time, but unlike the 5 min notice I got last time, I had a week to practice. I believe I did well. Had Mary say I was 2nd to Jessica, but after I said thank you I informed her that although I practiced my butt off (Because Jessica said she'd kick my ass if I sucked) I didn't think I was worthy of being Jessica's runner up. Who knows. I really enjoyed playing it though. Hmmmm maybe a role change is in my future??? Hmmmmm, maybe, but for now, I'm Trixie baby!! Current Mood: contentCurrent Music: Silence | | Sunday, June 12th, 2005 | | 7:34 pm |
Bored I am so bored right now. I have done nothing today, but sit in my room. It's 7:34 and I am still in my PJ's. Ahhhhhhh, so bored. Current Mood: bored | | Thursday, June 9th, 2005 | | 8:56 pm |
Construction to LJ
As you see I've changed my LJ name. So hello there. |
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